One day I reached out and said ' I just want to let go'. I remember her telling me that someone else had also said to her that Umm Sadiq just needed to let go. Yet for some reason I never heard it from anyone else. I struggled with surrendering to the process of life and as I started this journey, she gently guided my mind and heart to walk the path without fear. With her I saw that in every conversation, every gift, that this was what she was teaching me.
She taught me the art of receiving without the need to give back in return. On one occasion she sent me a gift, instantly I wanted to gift back. To this day her words are etched in my soul 'Don't give back. Just accept and enjoy'. She only gifted when her heart wanted to give and did not want the love to be reduced by my exchange. Her cup was full because we were both happy. A deep realisation hit me. This was the concept of intentional giving. I always gifted with the intention of making someone else happy but from now on, my intention would include happiness for myself.
A few days ago she sent me a photo which said '“I will soothe you and heal you, I will bring you roses. I too have been covered with thorns.” Rumi'. And I realised that this beauty was using all her pain, all her learnings and healing alongside with me and whilst I healed, she healed and when she was healing, so was I.